So the stomach pain returned last night, prompting me to reopen the case files. I think I've finally solved the mystery, and here are some fun facts that I learned along the way:

Fun Fact #1 -- If you leave butter out on the kitchen counter for several days during a Texas summer, it will become rancid.

Fun Fact #2 -- If you continue to use this butter, you will continue to get sick.

Sometimes I can't believe they made me a doctor. As my legendarily acerbic Aunt Cath told me recently, "You've got a lot of letters after your name, Lewis, but you don't have C.S. -- common sense".